We're sinking, we're sinking!

Yeeeeess..... vell, vhat are you sinking about? Or so the joke goes. I made the mistake of thinking or sinking (you decide which is more apt) recently. It all started with the devil. After a very long time of remaining firm, I have finally given in and succumbed to the evil that is facebook. It's the devil. I am sure of this. Which is why I refused to go on it for so long. But for some reason, everybody on the whole damn planet is on the thing and any photos of any event that people attend, get put up there.

I was at the Rammstein concert in Cape Town. It was the best event that I have ever attended. Completely blew me away. I was in the 3rd row from the barrier in front of the stage, got literally seared by massive flames, and I got to touch the boat! Anyway, as I didn't have a camera there, I was relying on wonderful friends to take pics that I could then get from them later. Their place of choice to stick these? Yup. Bloody facebook. So, the only way for me to get at these wonderful images of flamethrowers in action was on facebook.  I cracked, and walked into the arms of Beelzebub. Which, like I suspected it would, has almost taken over my life. Because it does this. This is how it eats your soul. You very innocently send a "friend request" to one or two people that you know. They "accept" you as their friend and suddenly you see who all their friends are and they let you know what they're doing and you ask some of their friends if they would accept you as well and then, before you know it, you have a whole host of people that you are constantly connected to. You can also "search" facebook for anybody else that you would like to connect with. And they all have "status updates". Which is pretty much just what they're doing or thinking about now or something cool that they saw or heard and people comment on these. And then you think of something witty to say and "post" your "reply" to the comment and you keep checking back to see if anybody appreciated your razor sharp wit. Then somebody else "likes" your reply and another person posts something and you keep coming back to see what's happening now. Then there are the "pokes" which I still don't understand, but I am currently involved in poke wars on two fronts. Also, tags. Which I don't get either, but it involves pictures somehow. I will still get to the bottom of this.

While all this frenetic activity goes on (which eats away all of one's time usually spent writing blogs), you browse through all the friends of friends and see the comments that friends make on their friends' pages and run accross old friends, past lovers and aquaintances. It can be really good to hook up with these people that you might have let disappear from your life over the years. I have spoken to people that I have cared about a lot before, that I somehow lost contact with and it has been very gratifying (it is still the devil though). But, as you go through these people that were a part of your life, you also think back to the times when they were there. What you were doing, how old you were, what your plans for the future were back then. Kinda who you were at the time. This brings me to the title for today (see what I did there?).

So facebook (the devil) made me think about where I am, where I have been and the journey along the way. I have had some fantastic times. Met and spent time with some wonderful people. I have received and given a lot of love. I have had immeasureble support. All of which I am truly, humblingly (that is a word, I have decided) grateful for. I have made some terrible mistakes. Taken some very wrong turns. Hurt and dissapointed many people (very often the same people mentioned before). There are many things that I regtret. Clocks that I wish I could turn back. Words I wish I could swallow to prevent them form causing the damage that they did. Deeds I would walk away from and things not done that I should have rushed to do. I wonder what would have happened, had I chosen this way instead of that. Where would my life have taken me then? Where would I have ended up? Do this for too long and you will go a bit bonkers. Because you can't change the past. You learn from it. You cherish the memories of all the happy times. You appreciate your wordly stuff and the riches you have accumulated in your heart and mind and soul. The impressions made on you by all these people that you once knew and all the choices that you had to make. Because of them, maybe next time your choice will be a bit better.

TFLNOTD:

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This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate