Nothing But Trouble

You know, Will Smith might have known a thing or two when he was a laaitie. Can't really say the same for his kids. I don't know how those little shoulders can carry such big chips, but that's a different story. When he was still called The Fresh Prince, he had a song that went: "Listen old boy, don't mean to bust your bubble, but girls of the world ain't (insert title here). I really don't get how chicks work. Sometimes I think I do, but then they just come up with something that completely befuddles me again. I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in this. Why then do we bother with them, you ask? Because we can't help it. They look so pretty and they smell so nice and they make us feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Drive us up the wall often, but they do light up our lives. Still, I don't understand them. One of the the things that I just don't get would be how their choices in guys work. I have done a bit of research into this and it seems (according to what they say) that they all want a nice, dependable, good oke, that won't screw them around.

This is complete and utter twally. I have seen it happen so many times. Cool, normal chickies, quite smart too, that go for complete and utter b*stards. Then they whine about how these guys mess them around. Eventually, they might break up with aforementioned b*stards. Swear that they will never let a guy treat them like that again and hook up with the next b*stard that walks around the corner. It seems they have this inborn need to want to fix these problem children. Probably something to do with motherly instincts or something, I don't know. *Sigh* This means that, according to what they say, guys like me (the nice dependable type, according to the people that know me, although they only think they do, because in fact I am a right b*stard - shhhhh, it's called advertising, I might get finally get lucky from this ), should be swimmin' in wimmin, while in fact, we sit at home, alone, proverbial finger in our proverbial.......ear.

They also say that they want to be romanced. They want to feel special. So then guys like me (not really, see above for details), attempt this. These attempts to satisfy this need are seen as being "too much" and that they are being "suffocated" by this "relationship". And they run a bloody mile. The best luck I have had with a girl lately, was to completely, flatly ignore her. This just boggles my mind.

I have to admit that I have not lucked out completely throughout the course of my life. For the most part, I have also dated some really hot girls. Most of them were pretty sharp as well. They must've gone through some moment of weakness at the time. Couldn't find a handy b*stard nearby (this is of course not always completely true, just trying to make a point here). Still, there have been some fun and meaningful relationships along the way. But, as I seem to have developed this thinking illness of late, I had a bit of a thought about all this. For the most part (and I'm talking seriously large majority here), girls that I have dated before seem to be much better off now, than they were with me. And I'm not just talking about then and now, but also better off than they would have been, had they stuck with me until now. Logically, I have to therefor conclude that I have had a positive influence on these girls' futures. I did think about this for quite some time and I have come up with a plan that I think will benifit us all.

Ladies, if you feel like you're stuck in a rut, that you are not realising those wonderful ambitions that you have, that your life is not really going anywhere, give me a call. Let's hook up. I'll make you famous.

TFLNOTD:

(315):

I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.