The List

Sounds like a John Grisham novel. The man seems incapable of writing something with a title that contains more than two words and does not start with "The". Anyway, it's Sunday, I'm at work and my shift is almost finished, so it's time for an update.

None of you have called me about sharing an abode, so I am still looking for a place to stay. It seems harder this time around than it used to be. Maybe I'm just getting old. Imagine an elderly croaking voice saying: "In my day, we didn't take so long to find a house. They were practic'ly lining up for us to move in." I think my lifestyle might have just priced me out my market. All the places that I've seen so far seem so tiny.  I have way too much stuff for tiny.

To get to my title for this post. I read on Tequila Tart's blog that ladies of this world apparently set up a list of what they are looking for in a man. Then they are to "send it out to the universe" or something. This is supposed to attract somebody with attributes mentioned in the list. I can not comment on the efficacy of such a list, partly because she still needs to make hers and has not reported back on any results. It did get me thinking though. Same as my flat hunting, that seems more difficult than it used to be, looking for a significant other has become rather more challenging than previously, as well. Whether we consciously set up our list or whether we just have some kind of preconceived idea in our head, we all (that is single people, well mostly single people, definitely some single people) have a few requirements of the next special person in our lives.

When you are young, like in school or studying, everybody is just a little ball of potential. Nobody expects anything from anybody. Everybody will still bloom into what it is they will become. So the the list is relatively short and it is therefor quite easy to hook up. When you're old, like me, people kinda expect you to have made something of your life. Therefor, the lists get a bit longer and more detailed, containing some very specific must-haves. Whether it be the right car or house or status or physical appearance or mental health, they do get added to the lists. This puts guys like me in a bit of a sh!toutaluck position. This is the reason why I think it has become so difficult to meet new romantic interests. Even if you do get past the "Who is this idiot that wants to chat me up?" defense, people still have their lists and woe unto him that does not score high enough.

I say: Bugger the lists. Lady, I may not have everything that you might be looking for in a man, but I'm a straight, nice guy that will treat you well, will care for you, maybe even love you at some point and will not mess you around. If that's not enough for a start then good luck with your list.

TFLNOTD:

(864):

no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.

The Moving Blues

It's Sunday, so it's time for my weekly update. Honestly, I don't know where people get the time to do this every day.So far it has been an awesome weekend. I hung out with various friends, made some new ones, maybe had a little too much to drink, got presents, saw a totally awesome movie (Ninja Assassin - If you can stomach blood and gore I repeat, totally awesome, watch it), ate like a king/pig (take your pick), danced, laughed at some weird dude's dancing and looked at possible places to stay.

Yup it is time to move, yet again. I don't know how many times I have moved since I got to Cape Town, oh, 16 years ago. It seems that landlords have this strange vendetta against me. Almost every flat I move to is sold at some point and I'm told to bugger off. At one stage I moved once a year. This time I had a year and a half. I need to be out of my place, at the latest, by the end of November. Right, fine. Only, my work is opening a new shop in Pretoria East in October and I need to be there for two months, to help get the place up and running, from the start of November. Do you spot the problem? I can't very well move when I am in Blue Bull land. So, to make things easiest on me, I would like to move before I go away. Therefor, I need to give notice from my current flat a little earlier as well. I did this. I explained that I will vacate the premises on 2 October. A Saturday.This has to be approved for some or other reason. I sent my notice in August. I am still awaiting this approval. But now I could start looking for a new place.

Excitedly, I plunged head first into gumtree and clicked my way to the flats for rent in my price bracket. Which turned out to be a little bit smaller of a selection than I had hoped for and every single one is available from 1 September. That doesn't help me much, now does it? I spent the next few days trawling through all the possibles, seeing what is out there and when September hit, I started making viewing appointments. Pickings are a wee bit slim. To date, I haven't found a place that I really like. If they finally approve my notice, I kinda need somewhere to move to. Time is running out.

So, I am sending out an APB to all in the blogverse: If you know of somewhere in Cape Town that I can stay let me know asap. I would not like to be homeless soon. If you, or somebody you know,  would like to share a place, please be aware of the following. I'm a bit of a filthy slob, I make quite a lot of noise, I have strange people over at odd hours that sometimes look as if they will never leave (usually lots of beer involved as well) and I have a few annoying habits. If you are comfortable with all of that then gimme a call roomy!

TFLNOTD: (I'm going to leave the links in from now on , so that you can check out the site yourself)

(302):

when are you leaving homes?

(610):

it's 7:51. why the f*ck are you awake at 7:51

(302):

I had a sex dream about Oprah.

(610):

go back to sleep

(302):

dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.

Aural displeasure

I have to admit, against my beliefs about human nature, that most of the clients I deal with at work are quite well-adjusted, generally nice people. My day job being in retail, this is not something that one would expect. So, I am often pleasantly surprised by how friendly, understanding and accommodating some people can be. But then you get the ones like I had recently. Two in one day, in fact.

Now, I am a patient guy. I can take a lot of crap from somebody, without having to apply some blunt force trauma to said person's head. But these two really tested my limits. I think the reason why they were so trying was that they just don't listen. The one would ask a question and be so wrapped up in her self-absorbed arrogance that she wouldn't give me a chance to answer. About three words into my reply, she would just start talking again. I was aghast. At one time, I had to start the same sentence seven times before she gave me a chance to finish it.Totally aghast.

The other one is a severely obese diabetic. I get it. You can't help the way you look because of a genetic dysfunction. Life is hard. You can't go anywhere, because it's difficult to move something the size of a house to the toilet, let alone to the shops. Your son died of a terrible disease. You have endless legal battles with the whole world. I really do get it. You do not have to tell me all of your terrible life story all of the time. My question, madam, is: Do you want to buy it or not? I don't particularly care that the one you had your heart set on is out of your budget and therefor you have to go for the one that you didn't like that much, but you really liked the other one and you so wanted to get that rather, but oh, it is just too expensive, so you will have to go for the one you didn't want to get, but that is all you can afford because the one you really wanted is just so expensive, so now you are forced to go for the crappy one that you didn't want, but you really want the other one, but it is just too much...   AAAARGGGHHH!!

Sometimes it is a really good thing that a 2 x 4 doesn't fit through a telephone line.

There was more, but I shall refrain from typing it here. I am afraid that you might start banging your head against the desk, like I eventually did.  I did, for a while there, think that she was never going to stop. I had visions of my cold dead hand gripping the receiver for the rest of eternity as my decaying body wastes away, with her voice endlessly pouring through the phone line into my skull. Thankfully, finally, the call did end.

Is there a point to this long tirade? Just this: When the other person speaks, it is not just a time for you to think up what you will be saying next. Take a breath. Listen. They might have something of import to impart on you.  Then again, maybe not. Maybe I'm just full of it.

TFLNOTD:

(303):

Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.