Pie Sharts

I have a silly little pet peeve. For some reason, it rubs me completely the wrong way (although, I must admit, even the wrong way wouldn't be so bad anymore, as long as rubbing is involved), when people use terms incorrectly. People that should know better. If you are learning a new language or just learning new and interesting words in a language already known to you, it is fine and understandable and your attempts should be applauded while you are kindly yet firmly pointed towards the correct usage. That's all cool. But if you should really know better...

Like, frinstance (this is a game played by trolls, look it up), "Cornish". Spell check wanted me to use a capital "C" there, because it is derived off a proper noun. I would guess Cornwall? Anyway, Cornish, as in, a pie or pasty. I might have mentioned before that I am somehow involved with flooring. People come to me and ask me if I do Cornishes. No, I do not. At the moment, even a pie would look very attractive to me, but I am in fact not "doing" anything right now. Girls from Cornwall included. I also do not SELL pies of any kind or type. What you think you are looking for, however, is called a cornice. This is a concave, sortof right-angled trimming that is fitted where a wall and a ceiling meet (look up, if you are in a normal kind of house or flat you probably have those). I do not sell those either. Floors, see? Not ceilings. Which leads me to believe that what you actually are looking for is a similar looking type of  trim, albeit a lot smaller, which is fitted where a wall or cupboard would meet a floor. This is called a scotia. And no, we strangely enough don' t have those either. Maybe we should, but we don't. What I do have, is the convex version which is called the very original name of a quarter-round. It is called thus, because it looks like a quarter of a solid cylinder which has been split four equal ways ("quarters") along its length. And its outer side is "round". Quarter, round. See? No, a half-round would be two of these stuck together. I don't know where you learnt the term, but a half-round would just be silly. It is called a quarter-round. You can use "quad" if you want to sound like you're in with the flooring tech lingo. Oh, you are actually looking for the bigger thing? That would be skirting boards or skirting or just skirts (again flooring tech lingo). Yes, the wooden things where the floor and wall meet. Oh, you want the skirting to go all the way up the door frame? That would be an architrave. Yes my fitters can make those up and fit them for you. Is there anything else you would like like? Maybe a steak and kidney?


TFLNOTD:

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She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.